as it should be

this economy has been fabulous for my ego.

i barely remember the first time i stepped into the flagship store of HR in downtown toronto; or even what had prompted me to go there. walking into a store where i am almost certain they judge you by your appearance before you set a second foot into the vicinity, was probably one of the most forgettable experiences in my life. i think i always felt insignificant when i stepped foot onto their showroom floors. shiny and marble, i always knew i was out of place.

i continued several more years wandering through the department store on a very regular basis though never purchasing anything. maybe it was that i was incredibly awkward but i sort of enjoyed the fact that i was invisible to the staff who worked there--that was like a security blanket that i held onto. for those years, i quietly enjoyed my time being a complete observer who never took part in any extension of the store itself. i would say it was to the extent where i rarely attempted to pick things up either.

with the turn of the economy, people have been spending less and changing their purchasing habits--where they might have bought dior's line of mascara, now they have gone to a less expensive drugstore brand in its place. i think that with the turn of the economy, it has forced many retailers to retrain their employees to recognize that anybody is a potential a customer. now they have to actually try.

i think that a lot of my friends have said the same things to me about the cust service at HR and i always wondered why anyone would continue to go there if they felt so out of condescended upon. thing is, i'm one of those people despite thinking like that. i kept going in there and wishing and hoping that someone would be helpful and nice to me. maybe acknowledge that i've walked into their store.

when i walked into HR on thursday, i thought it would have been another evening where i was invisible to the staff there. i've never gotten so many greetings and it's never looked busier. it's as if the economy went out the window and everyone was just the way they should be, treating me like i'm a walking talking monetary note. i thought that the new warmer, jolly environment made me feel even MORE out of place than before! just when i was getting use to being treated like a nobody, i seemed to exist to these people. it was such an alien experience for me considering... but, i think that this "change" is a change in the right direction. maybe with the need to "scrape the bottom of the pot", lots of people will actually step up their act and really get going to deliver the right kind of customer service that any customer deserves.

when did it start snowing in australia??

i think the trend for the uggs (aka uglies) and later the emus has sorta reached a peak.. i don't know why anyone would want to wear them!! and did you know that here, the merchants are not allowed to put the uggs on sale?? yea.. they have to be on full price all the time. geesh. some of these things are realy pricey. aaand, y'all must know what i'm talkin' about unless you've been under a rock for the last 5 years. they have saturated our entire market. become a staple in some girl's wardobes! and guys now.. i think that guys are starting to come around about these things. maybe they're not as girly as they thought.. but i don't get the facination with them. they are the most simple looking things ever. goes to show that NA'ians are just not preoccupied enough with the idea of the actual workmanship. i don't think that it is terribly difficult to make one of these booties.. argh..

oh, and people wear these for winter now.. but, how do australians even know how to deal with canadian winters?!

big pizza pie, it's amore

i created a pizza a several days ago. mum said it was tasty. i thought so too. it included..
whole wheat dough
deep dish crust
anchovies
roasted red peppers
garlic sauce
hot chopped peppers (jalepanos?)

it was yummyyy! thought i'd just put it out there.. haha not a lot has been worth blogging about.

sensations

a shiver through your body, your throat goes dry, your muscles tense yet slack and the pit of your stomach feels like it's just given up all hope of itself--the absolute worst feeling in the world. why does it even have to be that way? doesn't anybody ever wonder why these things happen?? they shouldn't, ideally. what happened to the white grandiose fantasies we conjured up? what happened to getting exactly what we wanted? when did we begin to just accept what was available to us??? how did we isolate ourselves from other people so much that we forget who we are. i thought that it was about going beyond that.. discovering that them and ourselves, simultaneously. isn't there suppose to be that butterfly feeling in your gut where you just know?? do we not all deserve to have that perfect feeling of belonging and knowing we are loved by someone we have given our entirety? so many of us have become so protected and "loveless" that i dont think we even know where to start to feel like that anymore. it's easier to just hazily go through the rest of your life just being comfortably indifferent and numb.

i know that it sounds absolutely insane.. but i WANT to feel the pain.. the joys.. the very essences of what make us alive.

the biggest accessory of all

i need a hair cut. it's getting unruly and long. well, long isn't so much a problem as shapeless and unruly. i want my hair to be longer.. but it's not growing out quite right. ARGHHH i don't know what to dooooooooo. imma go out and check out goa. this better be good. i don't pay that much for hair.

getting away from the city, within the city

i finally did it. the weather sucked but i cycled to centre island with my bud, steven. at first, i have to admit i was hesitant to go cuz of the iffy weather.. but i thought, we might as well get out and see what that takes us. we did the usual humber trails to sheldon lookout (this is another day when the photo was tkaen, but you get the idea):


from there, we continued along the lakeshore to ontario place, exhibition and then to queens quay and then to the ferry to centre island. now, it was FREEZING that day! i thought it would be a little warmer, but it was so cold! the greatest thing is that i haven't seen so many beautiful parks and small restaurants and cafes along the lakeshore. in fact, some of the housing complexes are the more interesting i have ever seen! there is a complex near the naval complex that i would LOVE to live in. they're so european feeling. this little exploration of an adventure has been more and more fun each time we've gone out. i have gotten better ideas for what i'll be doing for my babe's birthday in a month's time! hehehe who knew there was so many little quaint places in the city? :)

anyways, we decided it would be an interesting adventure to go to centre island, despite the foggy weather. so off we went!


we departed ward's point from the ferry docks. when we got there, we rode the island pretty quickly. there aren't a tremendous amount of path.. and centre island itself (the amusement park) was kinda eerie. it was all abandoned and everything. boarded up and closed. except for the "far enough farm" that housed a number of animals..
peacocks,

the ass scratching pony named cecilia (or blueberry muffin),

ducks,

and geese (which i am harassing--they all have blue eyes!),

and OLIVER the boar!!!


oliver is steven's bff.

the island was also full of wonderful cute little cottages. as we rode along the narrow little paths, we came across this little cottage that reminded me of il mare. despite it being foggy, i think that it was the best day to be on centre island. i thought that it would be crappy with the weather and all but i found that things were probably so peaceful. as i sat looking out at the city from algonquin island, i thought, wouldn't it be nice to live here? listening to the lake just be the lake with the water breaking against the shore and the wind passing through my helmeted hair.. made me so.. calm. steven thought i was insane to be not even 30 and want to "retire" on the island. but i thought, wouldn't it be peaceful? to have the city only minutes away from you.. but be surrounded by complete and utter peace and tranquility?

making space

last night, the 15.4 million dollar 649 was won. today, i have a good chance at getting a job on the 5th floor.